antalya's

Seven Staropramens had seared an untimely hole in my wallet on a balmy October evening.

Earlier that night, I'd felt for the first time the heart-pumping euphoria where live music and alcohol criss-cross and interlock on the shores of intoxication island. I was meant to be back within the hour to help out with the party. It was for charity.

Charity had been hurled out the window though, I needed more.

I needed something. I needed.

A kebab.

Onwards to Forman St.

To that most beautiful of purveyors of greasy rat-stick meat.

I waited in the queue replaying the concert in my mind.

My stomach burbled with Prague's finest.

Electric Soft Parade - Thing's I've Done Before

Why is it that 97.9% of all kebabs in the United Kingdom

tend to consist of a

single pitta bread

packed with more cardboard lamb

than can possibly fit inside the pitta?

Let alone the poxy polystyrene case.

These thoughts were resounding round my pissed-up little brain

as I stumbled towards Queens St about to clamber onto

my safe ride home. The 45 bus.

I was distracted momentarily by the chilli sauce

and greasy cardboard lamb trails that had left a stain

upon my blue, blue jeans. Nothing to worry.

Electric Soft Parade - The American Adventure

The 45 bus deviated from its course.
It did not go up Woodborough Road.
It was going in the opposite direction.

We had taken the 44A bus!
Being the wasted fools we were,

cutting our losses was the only sensible option to take.

Electric Soft Parade - Chaos

We disembarked onto a ringroad,

where there we waited, thumbs extended.

Motorists continued to whizz by for what seemed like an age

until one kind soul let us hitchhike all the way back to Bridgford.

------------------------

On a serious note, the White brothers are immensely talented.

Their voices + piano >>>>>> all the kebabs in the entire world.

The American Adventure is a lost classic. Buy it.